Crease in the Brain

Disclaimer: I am not a psychiatrist...the following is what I've learned.... Enjoy! :)

We all have creases in our brain that have formed from our birth. If you take a piece of paper and fold it in half and then open it and fold it again the same way and continue this act, soon there will be a crease in the paper. The more you "crease" the paper the "stronger" the crease becomes. Creases in our brains are things we have done or heard all our life and they become like a tape player in our brain, playing over and over. For example, growing up I often heard from my parents, "you can do it", "i'm so proud of you" and that tape plays over and over in my brain. Those positive phrases (and others) affected the way I approached life and made me into the person I am today. On the flip side, one may have heard "you're dumb", "you can't do anything" and, unfortunately, that is played constantly in that person's brain throughout his or her life. That person may have low self-esteem or low self-confidence because of it.

This also applies to things we do. For instance, when you drove to work today, do you remember every time your foot hit the brake or do you even remember how you got there? You probably just got in the car, turned it on and left. You didn't think about where you needed to turn or how far you had to go, you just automatically did it because it's become a crease in your brain. You've done that routine so many times, your brain knows what to do and your body just follows. Next time you drive to work, school or the grocery store when you get there, see if you remember driving...it's a scary thought but you won't remember every single turn you make or how many times you hit the gas. That's because that crease in our brain takes over and we just do it..without a second thought.

You can certainly change that crease. If you grew up with negativity you can change that crease by changing the tape. Surround yourself with positive people, those that will lift you up, not tear you down or you can read inspirational books and listen to motivational tapes.

I say all that to say this...today I drove for the first time!!! Talk about trying to change a major crease in your brain. Ben had some things to do at home, Caroline wasn't feeling well and so Calvin, MaeMae and I decided to venture to the village to go to the library.

Nervous, apprehensive and anxious were my feelings as we walked outside to load up Bluebell. It's funny because whenever we go out and Ben isn't with us and we are going somewhere, the kids automatically assume we are taking the bus. They asked on our way out today if we were walking down to the bus stop and I said "no, I'm driving us, isn't that exciting!" to which Calvin said, "um, mom, can we take the bus instead?" Surely, he doesn't remember how wonderful a driver I am! :) He knows I've been delaying this process so I don't blame him for asking.

We loaded up and getting in, right off the bat, the crease in my brain had me grabbing my seatbelt with my right hand...not there. It's on the right! Man, I knew it would be a stressful drive, already. Everything is backwards: key is on the right, windshield wipers & blinker are opposite, gear shift is on the left and you have to get used to looking the opposite way for cars. I just kept telling myself..."stay on the left, stay on the left".

Everyone buckled- check

Car started - check

Mirrors adjusted - check

Off we go! I probably drove 30 mph the whole way but rather safe than sorry I always say. :) We drove down the hill and veered left onto Marine Drive. It's a straight shot to Eastbourne, no roundabouts, just don't mind the crashing waves on the side of the road and the zooming kiwis rounding the curves like Jeff Gordon. I looked in my rearview mirror several times throughout our trip only to find cars lined up behind me like it we were on a Sunday drive. Oh well, what's the hurry right? They can wait...I was stressed enough. I drove with my hands properly on the wheel at 10 & 2 the whole time, shoulders tensed up like when my aunt Martha deals cards while trying to not hit any stationary cars/houses/mailboxes.

Driving on the left hand side is totally against the crease that has been worn in my brain for 15+ years. I found myself several times looking over my left shoulder instead of my right or turning the wipers when I wanted to put the turn signal on. It worked telling myself, aloud, "stay on the right, stay on the right"...thankfully.

Calvin gave me some comic relief when he exclaimed "Go, girl, go! You're doing it mom!" I'm so happy we've always encouraged them (crease in the brain) so they can pass it on to others. It was nice to be on the receiving end of that. Sweet guy.

We made it down to the village and parked (no parallel parking in the near future - I surely would take out all surrounding cars!). Calvin and MaeMae were as happy as I was to have arrived safely and soundly. :) They are brave souls to have ridden with me to town.

First driving experience over and done and a success. Next adventure - roundabouts! Those terrify me but Ben has really done well with driving here and if he can do it, I can too! :) He's like a native, taking on the roundabouts, driving in the city and around the windy coastline roads. It'll be great when I can really go out and run errands, etc...on my own. It's felt a bit like Driving Miss Daisy getting toted around town. Although, it has been nice being chauffeured, I'm ready for some independence. Not being able to drive where you need to go, when you want to go and being dependent is very humbling.

Awesome playground right by the beach. The kids loved this tall slide and climbed right up with no problems the first they saw it. It's quite tall and I would've been a bit scared myself...oh to be young and fearless again!

Got one shot of the kids on the little playground at school. This was in between sessions and we were killing time.

Caroline loves the beach and has so much fun playing in the rocks and sand.

Here's mom! The only way to get in a picture sometimes is to just take it yourself. :) (thank you mom and dad for mailing my glasses! sweet relief from the contacts!)

At the library during our morning walk-about. We've really enjoyed it there!

'School Days' Adventures

That leads me to our 'school days' adventures. Calvin goes to kindy from 8:30am-12:30pm and Mary Katherine goes from 1:30-3:30pm and I opt to stay in town the whole day to avoid an extra bus trip and trek up the hill, etc... It makes for a very long, tiring day.

8am - we pack up to travel down the hill to the bus stop

8:15am - bus picks us up and turns and burns it around the curvy, windy coastline road to Eastbourne

8:30am - we drop off Calvin at school

8:40am - the girls and I start our 4-hour "wait-around" by heading to the cafe for a bagel or to the beach, if it isn't too windy

8:40 - 12:15pm - we tool around the village and hit our favorite spots: the library (they know us very well since we usually go in twice a day and stay for hours at a time), grocery store, the beach, the public restroom (the shops don't have bathrooms for public use so they have public ones (which by the way are quite clean), the playground, the post office/gift shop (we've already lost 2 items and they've known to whom they belong b/c we frequent this often as well), a couple cafes and the fresh fruit/veggie stand.

12:15pm - we head to school to pick up Calvin

12:30 - 1:30pm - we have an hour to kill before we take MaeMae to school so we usually go to the cafe that has the outdoor seating, I grab a delicious Cappuccino and the kids eat snack.

1:30 - 3:30pm - MaeMae is at school and so it's Calvin, Caroline and me starting the village tour again.

3:36pm - we catch the bus back to the York Bay bus stop and trudge back up the hill to our little home.

It is quite a long day and takes alot of energy since I have to entertain everyone while we are out. Every morning, I pack up my trusty backpack full of snacks, diapers, juice, gloves, hats and any other essentials we'll need for the day. The kids have really done well with this whole experience. Caroline has had some fussy days but I think she's getting tired of being strapped in the stroller while we walk around. I don't blame her. It's also been a very humbling experience too, again, be so dependent on public transportation and to have nowhere to really go. I took for granted the opportunity of just hopping in my car to take the kids to school then off to go wherever I needed to go, whenever I needed to. I've really come to appreciate so much on our journey here.

Calvin starts his "big" school visits on Thursday from 9am-11am. I still can't believe he'll be starting, essentially, 1st grade. It has happened so quickly! We visited the kindy last Tuesday, started on Wednesday and now start the "big" school visits just a week later. The "big" school is their primary and middle school and is great. I look forward to hearing all about their curriculum and school system. They start the children off with 6 school visits on Thursdays for the 2-hour period to get them used to the bell, the kids, etc... They count back from their 5th birthday and that's how they determine when the kids will begin school. They go in terms as well instead of a school "year", like we do in the States. Calvin begins the 4th term, 11 October. They go about 10 weeks and take a 2-week "holiday" then back again. For Christmas (their summer) they get either 6 to 8 weeks for holiday. It should be interesting! We're excited Calvin and MaeMae have such a great opportunity to be immersed into the culture and into new friendships.

I've been able to meet several great "mums" and already have a coffee/playgroup lined up for Monday. It'll be so nice to get reconnected to other moms and kids. God has totally had a hand in everything we have done here from meeting new people to keeping the rain away until we get home from school. (walking to the bus stop and around town would be no fun in the rain!) Maybe we are here to (not only for Ben's training) really understand how much God provides for us and to enjoy every moment we have with each other. We've had some quality time together, with a capital QT, let me tell you. But it's been awesome slowing down and just being more still. Don't get me wrong, our house is still like WWIII sometimes - alot of the times, but the fact that we are together with not many other distractions has been the true blessing. Maybe I've taken too much for granted and have been humbled to be more thankful. I'm still trying to figure it all out but in the meantime, I know God is here, He's wrapping His loving arms around us and He is providing for us in every way.